Relationships Part 5 of 6

by Denise Palmisano

What are you observing and noticing as you take responsibility?  What fears, issues or concerns are coming up as you attempt to take action or have conversations about what isn't working? 

Chances are you have taken 2 steps forward and three steps back to a lesson of a previous week.   That is why a support structure is so necessary.  I am going to invite you one more time to enroll a few people to be your support structure to be with you in this process.  As you continue to reveal more of your filters and limitations you will find many layers and roots to authentically knowing yourself and what is really important to you in relationships. 

When you can truly know what you are up to, you will see the shifts begin to happen.   This is the end of the innocence and you are awakening to more authentic relationships.  That is sometimes a time of sadness, and grief as you say goodbye to old habits and old programming.  To add to that, it can often bring on confusion and fear not trusting what is next.  Breathe, you are exactly where you need to be for what is next.

Most of us were not taught effective relationship skills growing up.  If you continue to depend on your old programming, you will probably find that you are less than equipped to handle what is coming up in your current day relationships.  You are not alone.  Don't give up.  You just haven't practiced integrating steps of effectiveness to the point that they are transparent.

This week I invite you to practice compassion and non-judgment for yourself as you integrate the work of the previous weeks.  I have witnessed thousands of people repair, restore and create thriving relationships over the last 20 yrs.  They all used some variation of the information I am giving you in this Relationship series.   This week, I invite you to practice self-care in your relationships.

Since you are the only person you have any real control over, I invite you to take responsibility to take care of yourself.  We already established how energy either opens or closes possibilities for the relationships in our lives.  Consider anything or anyone that depletes your energy as an opportunity for learning.  Don't make them wrong or blame them.  This is about you.  Focus your attention internally.

Be an observer of the many ways you give away your energy, power and resources.  Ask yourself the question, "If I were to take care of myself in this relationship, what actions and conversations would I integrate?