We have all done it. Something happens and we expand on it until it consumes us. We spend endless energy and time dwelling on a situation that we can't see our way out of in the moment.
What has us do this? I am going to suggest it is a learned behavior. That's the good news. If you learned it, you can unlearn it. The question becomes how?
Paying attention to your language and everything that makes up your perspective is a great place to start. If you are willing to put an end to the drama and perspective that runs your life and keeps you stuck you can take responsibility to turn things around. Your perspective is made up of many elements including your moods, beliefs, standards, histories, traditions, messages you received growing up, religions, cultures, geographical location, social status, etc.
Take a moment to do a quick inventory with the the areas of your life that you have gotten real good at telling stories in. Tell the truth about what worked for you when you had a good story. Maybe it got you attention, sympathy, affection, a sense of belonging, maybe it was believable enough to get you out of chores or duties, whatever it was at the time, you got used to telling a story then getting your reward. As the story got old or no longer interesting, you learned to tell larger ones to the point you were now entertaining people with your story and the drama you put into it.
I am going to suggest that the story telling and drama of your life situations is not working anymore. It is draining your energy and the energy of others. You are running out of people to tell your story to and it is out dated for where you want to be in life. Your drama and making things larger than need be is turning people away and keeping you paralyzed from moving forward.
Be careful what you practice, you will get good at it!
Some of you may have even gotten so good at telling your stories that it has become the TRUTH! When that happens, you have a limited perspective. This limited perspective can come off as making others wrong, blaming others for the condition of your life, an excuse to not take responsibility, defensiveness, righteousness, etc.
How do you feel when you are being made wrong or blamed or having someone hold you responsible for the conditions of their life? Doesn't feel too good I suspect.
You can begin to unlearn the habit of story telling or being dramatic by owning your experience. It is about you, nothing less, nothing more. You can take responsibility by getting clear how you set things up to be disappointed or upset with an outcome. You went into it with an agenda, a picture of what you wanted it to look like or some expectation and now you want to make others wrong for your hidden conditions of satisfaction. NO DEAL!!!
If you want to reclaim your power, the ability to connect with people, the capacity to enroll a network of support and take responsibility for moving forward, you will have to be willing to face things exactly as they are. You can no longer make excuses, blame and hold others hostage in what you are unwilling to ask for or do to take responsibility for the condition of your life.
If you want more peace, joy and love in your life, it will require you to step up and let yourself out of the small thinking that the drama and story telling create in your life and in your relationships.