Matters of the Heart Part 2 of 4

by Denise Palmisano

In part one of this series, I talked about awakening to your yearnings and what matters to you as well as authentically knowing and expressing yourself.  I also talked about how our programming has disconnected us from our authentic self and often to the degree of sleepwalking or being on auto-pilot.

In part two, I want to share my thoughts on being an observer and having compassion for the complexity of filters that often limit our awakening and keeps the programming, recurring breakdowns and similar outcomes in place. I also want to claim that you have all you need to create a life you love.  Be open to the fact that the world may not be exactly the way you see it.

Being an observer is stepping back and watching yourself in motion.  It is being open to being shown the many ways you may have sabotaged your capacity to listen to your heart and take authentic actions.  Being deliberate and intentional as an observer will allow you to see the habits and patterns that you have taken on over the years that may or may not be currently working for you.  Being an observer is not a time to make yourself wrong or go into some negative internal dialog.  It is pausing to observe your thoughts, words and actions and being open to insight and information about how you make choices and the results those choices produce. 

Acknowledging what you have been up and where you are as a result of your prior choices is crucial when it comes to enhancing your capacity to design and create a life you love.  Bringing intention and purpose to your choices instead of being swept along in a state of sleepwalking or auto-pilot will likely shift the outcomes and results of your actions and lack of actions.  Hence, transformation can occur and you have increased your capacity for action and experience.  In other words, you are living a more authentic life that is in alignment with what matters to you. You might also say you are living in integrity.

Some of what you will observe are the filters through which you interpret the world.  Those filters disclose your personal and private reality.  That reality exists as a result of the programming I spoke of last week.  I will add here that your reality is merely your interpretation.  It is not necessarily the same reality that exists for someone else.  Hence, the very reason that we as humans continue to be in conflict when we are insistent on being right about our personal and private reality.  We assume everyone sees situations the way we do.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Can you identify a righteous position that is currently limiting your connection with someone?

Let's look a little deeper.  When you look to the outer world, it is common to place blame and assign judgment to what you see out there.  Yet, what you see is merely a filtered reflection of how you have been programmed.  Your inner world is now a sea of emotional attachments and fears all the while trying to make sense of your personal and private reality.  Some filters show up as your interpretations, stories, judgments, beliefs, moods, attachments, concerns, ego, etc.  It isn't the event that has us suffer. It is what we make the event mean that creates the suffering.  Or better yet, what we make it mean about us.  The more you are unwilling to look at your blueprint for suffering, the longer you will stay stuck.  Change the story and you change your capacity to handle whatever comes up.  I know, easier said than done. 

This is going on inside each of us at all times.  Can you see how complex all of this is at any given moment?  This is the time for compassion and acceptance for your humanness.  There is a way to reduce the filters while moving towards a more authentic connection to yourself and others.  That however, will take practice, time, courage, rigor and patience.

In my opinion, there is no better time than the present moment to choose to take responsibility for your reality and the condition of your current life situations.  As a matter of fact, why wouldn't you want to take responsibility?  Who doesn't want to be the captain of their own ship?  What's the pay off in letting someone else dictate your actions or lack of actions?  Taking responsibility says you matter and what you want in life matters.  When you are willing to stop putting your life on hold and quit blaming others for the condition of your life, you automatically and immediately begin to make choices from a stance of power, potential and possibilities.

Your peace, power, potential, possibilities and security do not exist in playing it safe or playing a small game. It does not exist in not taking risks or waiting for guarantees of false security.  It does not exist in having to know, having to look good or having to feel good.  Those are all methods and means of looking to the outer world for security in your inner world.  That, my dear friend is the programmed formula for guaranteed and permanent suffering!  The lasting shift to unravel the programming is to take the inside out approach. 

Join me in creating a life you love in 2010!