It's Not About How, It's About When

How many times have you heard yourself ask, How do I....? Or say, I don't know how to... Often times that is an automatic, programmed and default question or response. For lack of a better question or response, it seems to fit the reason you may be stuck, confused or limited. This is an opportunity to interrupt a limiting thought or behavior pattern. From the mindset of something is missing or lack of, the focus is on something outside of yourself or your capacity. Relax and reclaim your potential and possibilities.

It is usually not about HOW. It is often about knowing or believing you don't like the options you already have to make it happen. It can also be an attempt to look for an easier route to get the end result or to get someone to tell you what to do, or to do it for you. Creating or achieving a desired result requires taking responsibility and a willingness to learn the mindsets and programming that makes the how to do something a place of wonder and growing instead of a place of suffering. Unraveling those layers will set you free of needing to know prior to starting.

Suffering is a CALL TO ACTION!

While how can be a very good question, I have come to believe more effective and productive questions are; When will I...,Who do I know who..., Where can I learn...? First things first. The how to comes after you have chosen and committed to get started and explored the support, resources or mentors that can assist you in creating a plan for the how to. You can spend countless hours in how to and never commit to starting. Your energy and focus are on an ineffective strategy.

In my 25 + years of personal development work, how is the question that people ask the most. When I hear that question, it automatically has me believe they either have a pattern of needing to know all aspects and details before they begin or an excuse of not knowing so they don't ever have to start. Either way, it can lead to a feeling of being inadequate, stupid, a failure or incompetent. Those internal feelings are fuel for sabotage an experience that the situation or event is hopeless or bigger than you.

How many times have you used I don't know how as an excuse to either not start or to suffer about what you don't know?

Human beings are creatures of habit. I claim you have access to everything you would possibly need to know. The problem comes when you think you need to know it all before you get started.

If we get in the habit of having to know before we begin, we are stuck, on hold, hostage so to speak until we know. That is a trap.
It is a step by step process. There is no need to overwhelm yourself with needing to know every detail and aspect as though it would seamlessly work out that way.

Beneath the I don't know how there are usually additional layers of I need to be right, I need to be confident, there is a perfect way to do it and would others judge or assess me as doing it well, perfect or right.

So, the question of how diminishes our capacity to step forth in the trusting that we will figure it out and learn what we need to learn along the way for the step that is presenting itself in the moment.

The additional suffering from the added layers has you focus so far in the future that you take yourself out of the only moment you have which is right now to figure it out.

Asking the question when will I start...creates clarity and focus for what's needed in preparation for the start date.

Rather than ask, how do I get through this? I suggest you shift the question to when will I choose to take action, let go, surrender or be willing to learn? Putting a target date on a task, project or situation allows a plan to unfold in the necessary time to accomplish the job at hand.

I am here to support you in asking questions, offering practices, action steps and giving feedback to move through any situation in life that is currently having you live a life on hold.
Contact me at, 985-860-8861 or denise@empoweringpotential.com.  to be your partner in possibilities and your NEXT STEP!  

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