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That's right! It really is all about you. It is your turn to be heard, to shine, to be acknowledged, to be congratulated, to be honored, to be praised, to be cherished, to be witnessed, to realize your goals and dreams, to experience fulfilling and nurturing relationships, to get that raise or promotion, and to get what you want and need in all areas of life. You are the one that could use a break from the past and present expectations, demands, judgments, control and standards of others. How do I know this? You are human.
From time to time we all go through stages of giving up what we want or need for the sake of others. We might do so to ease their burden and pain, share some hope, make them feel special or loved, etc. Sometimes we have done so at the expense of ourselves, our time, our energy, our money and our resources. I am not suggesting that doing for others is bad or wrong. What I am saying is that it might not be working for you anymore. The problem or disconnection from ourselves is because for most of us, just doing for others and not for ourselves has become a way of life. We are taking too much responsibility for others and not enough responsibility for ourselves. In our wanting to be perfect parents, good neighbors, great siblings, respectable children, loving partners, supportive friends and loyal employees, we have lost ourselves and our passion and interest in our own goals, dreams, desires and vision. Read on and see if you have been in any of these situations. If you can say no to all of these, I congratulate you and acknowledge you for doing the impossible. You have been good boys and girls, followed the rules, colored within the lines, done everything that everyone else wanted you to do, sacrificed more than was called for, listened endlessly to friends in trouble or in pain, spent too much money on presents for people that didn't appreciate it, bent over backwards to keep the peace, did more than your share of the work at home or at the office, volunteered when you should have been doing something for yourself, watched the neighborhood kids, settled for less than you deserved, put yourself last, ate dessert when you were supposed to be eating healthy just to celebrate someone else, been afraid to lose someone, went to parties and gatherings that you didn't want to go to so you wouldn't upset anyone, cried yourself to sleep from not knowing what to do next, spent money you didn't have on things you didn't need, went out of your way to impress someone or belong to a group, drank too much alcohol to forget how lonely you were, shopped until you dropped and used retail as therapy, spent endless hours awake praying for things to be different, listened to the negative internal dialog that has kept you safe, small and stuck, been afraid to tell the truth, been afraid to risk disappointment or disapproval, done things for people to like you, respect you or think you were cool, etc. Does any of this sound familiar? So this is what I am talking about. Look at all of this. The common denominator is YOU!!! It really is all about you. You are the one that did all of that and you are the one that has the power, control and ability to STOP IT!!! Well that is if you want something different than your current life situations. You can do that by integrating the following into your life.
Take the first step in practicing putting yourself first. Ask yourself these three questions.
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Think about the concept, life's like a grocery store. There are aisles and aisles of food items, merchandise bins, freezers of perishables, end caps of attention grabbers, check-out counters filled with shiny objects, headlines and seasonal items to lure you, and the list goes on.
Besides addressing the basic human need to hunt, gather and eat food, my belief is that our shopping experience is similar to our lives. I say that given the aisles and displays dedicated to things other than food. We start out going there for one purpose and we end up leaving with more than we intended to buy and spending more time there than we originally allotted. We filter our purchases through our needs, impulses, moods, emotions, fears, wants, addictions, etc. Hmmm. How is that like life? There is always something or someone calling for your attention, resources, time, love, acceptance, approval, permission, etc. That can be draining and limiting. Just like in the grocery store, our choices of thoughts, words and actions with the people in our lives are filtered through our needs, impulses, moods, emotions, fears, wants, addictions, etc. What you do in the midst of all of that will either work or not work in moving you towards your longer term goals and vision for your life. It might be time to quit making temporary choices for a permanent problem and start making choices that will result in long-term fulfillment instead of short term gratification. It might be time to resign as General Manager of the Universe and start taking responsibility for yourself. When you focus on what you want and where you want to go you are more able to stay on task. Just like taking a list to the grocery store. If you stick to the list, your experience will be effective, efficient and fulflling. If you don't stick to the list, you will have used up time, energy and money on things that you don't need and possibly won't use. Just like in life. How much are you really giving away of yourself, your time, your energy, your resources, etc. This isn't a dress rehearsal. If you want more out of life, here are a few questions to ask yourself throughout the day. Are my choices in alignment with what I say I want? Are my choices in alignment with where I want to go? Am I becoming the person I want to be? Am I filling the shopping cart of my life with people, thoughts, words and actions that will take me where I want to go or produce the results I want in life? If not, then it might be time to either update what you want or course correct with the choices you are making that are out of alignment with were you want to go. Either way you are at choice. Remember that. You are always at choice! Contact me to explore what might be next for you on your journey towards a more peaceful today and a much brighter tomorrow! |
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