Values and the Hidden Risks of Honoring Them

Did you know your values might be sabotaging your dreams, goals and objectives?

If you answered yes to any of the following questions, you are probably unaware of the impact your values are having on your life.

• Have you ever resented someone or something after you said yes to it?

• Do you feel stuck, in a rut or as though you are moving backwards in life?

• Do you find it difficult to finish what you start?

• Do you require the opinion or approval of others to make choices?

• Are you likely to repeat a pattern or behavior even if you know the result will not be in your favor?

These are just a few of the questions that would indicate that your value system is a double-edged sword. By that I mean there is an assumption that everything done in regards to honoring your values is a good thing. I claim that is a myth.

You have probably heard in more ways than one that everything is energy. Are you aware that within the energy of values having a positive influence on your life, there is an opposing energy that suggests values can have a negative influence on your life. Without further examination or left unattended, we are likely to use our values as our evidence, excuse or justification that the choice we made was the only one we could make. I say you always have more than one choice and maybe you are not willing or open to explore the others. That is when it could be said you are righteous in your beliefs that your choices were limited. I say that belief is setting you up to sell out and move farther away from the value and the true direction it was meant to keep you on originally.

We are not always aware when we are selling-out to a value. Selling out is considered to be linked with short term gratification. The reward is temporary. Selling out is when you are more attached to an experience in the moment that you lose sight of how that decision is not in alignment with your long-term objectives, goals, dreams or vision.

We would like to think we are making logical choices free of emotion. This is a lie. All of your choices come with visible and invisible emotions. You only do what you do to either move toward and experience or away from an experience. That is what I mean when I say we sell out for experience. Our values are based on the experiences we think we will have by living a certain way.

Imagine your values are love, support, connection, integrity and generosity. Would you or would you not, love even when you have been hurt, support even at the risk of giving too much of yourself, put yourself in situations to belong or be a part of something to feel connected, judge others when they do not live up to your standards of integrity or give to the degree of over-extending your resources to experience giving? That is what I mean when I say sell-out.

Unless you get clear on the standard or degree to which you are willing to comply with that value, you will suffer. Knowing your line between what is enough and when your actions cross the line of effectiveness is your journey with values. Don't be so quick to defend them or make choices from them unless you have done your work in evaluating the risks and potential to sell-out.

When just left to chance, you are using qualities that were intended to be your road map to happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction and it ends up being your exit ramp to emptiness, chaos, resentment, anger, disappointment, defeat and victimhood.

I claim that the degree to which you are righteous about your values without examining both sides of how they are impacting your choices and ultimately your results is the same degree that your values are limiting you. Most of what we have done is created an illusion of clarity and direction and have lost sight of a bigger picture perspective.

Tell me what you value and I will tell you what you will sell-out for in your life and relationships!

 Contact me for a free strategy session to eliminate the exit ramps in your life!